Friday, February 03, 2006

Flying Spaghetti Monster

I hate to say it but I think Bobby Henderson's Prophecy of an omnipotent 'Flying Spaghetti Monster' may be right. My change of heart? Let's just say cold, scientific proof.

In Singapore, on holiday, I had been taking a lot of photographs of skyscrapers. I was hoping to then combine the images and frame up an amazing long panoramic shot for the flat. I had visited a disturbing Malay/Italian Pizza Booth and purchased a plastic tupperware pot of some kind of hideous mongrel food from both cultures. The sauce was absolutely disgusting. Lets say it was there more for colour than taste, the pasta that was floating in it could only be described as dry. Anyway, I was trying to wolf down this pile of garbage juice and I spilt some of the sauce all over my £550 Pentax. It was a nightmare scenerio, though having calmed down shortly afterward, I realised that it was easy enough to wipe away with the lower half of my t-shirt.

As I was cleaning I had noticed that the sauce had 'lava lamped' the lens. I thought I might as well take a shot as it would probably look cool and trippy. So that was that, I cleaned the rest of my camera up and got on with my holiday. Even through the view finder in my Pentax, nothing looks out of the ordinary. It wasn't until I transferred my photos to paper and CD (In a Boots Chemists in Edinburgh) that I was aware of what I had photographed.

Looking at the sauce lens shot I had seen some kind of tentacled creature, it looked near to invisible and it was massive. I couldn't believe it. My girlfriend and I were pissing ourselves laughing for around a week. I had also noticed it on the CD transfer as well but couldn't see the creature on the stored photo on my camera? I re-visited Boots and asked them if anyone was messing around in the store. They didn't take responsibilty for the tampering, they insisted that that could not happen as it was all done through the Kodak Machine and they couldn't possibly add anything to the image. They asked me did I add a stencil to the photo on the machine. I replied that you probably don't get a 'Add Strange Floating Tentacled Creature' stencil, and that most people would have no need for it.

I decided to maybe try and add it to a paranormal site on the web. The web loves all the crap like this and I wasn't that bothered about my shot. It wasn't as if I was gonna frame it. Who'd want a weird stringy creature on their wall? I had searched a few sites to look for similar sightings of ghosts, cloud formations and weird lights. Then I visited a site that had mentioned the phenomenon of the 'Flying Spaghetti Monster'. I had first smirked at the coincidence but after seeing the resemblence it chilled my bones a little. There was a huge following of this monster. It was very tongue and cheek, and had been created to offend fanatical religious types. Though the picture I had taken in Singapore was definately similar to the monster-god Bobby Henderson had created.

Apparently, through research, the religion worhips this god and believes that global warming is closely linked to the demise of the pirate population. It the 'FSM' religion heaven holds volcanos of beer and a factory that produces strippers. Although an internet fad it has held it's own as more and more people find comfort in the faith. Whether it be through feeling connected or just having fun the monster has gathered amounts of followers that would put shame onto Scientology.

I don't know what this means. Is photographic evidence proper proof to cast off all other faiths and join 'FSM'? Or is religion now just an accessory, the photo above just an add for a beautiful watch?

If you are interested in further knowledge:

Bobby's Original Site
Wiki FSM
The Game


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