Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Cue & Ehh? With Jeffrey Brown

Those who have read Jeffrey Brown, keep on reading Jeffrey Brown. Like a peak into someone's private diary, Jeff's books are addictive, sincere and best to read while in hiding. Mostly autobiographical, with clever, slow, observant story telling, they deliver tales of misunderstood relationships and tell of the complexities of living. Like some strange ‘literary chick flick for guys’ you can’t help become involved and emotional… But Hey! - That sounds as wussy as hell. He’s also incredibly funny, tells a great manly superhero story and could beat the crap out of that doll made in his image if he wanted to, he just doesn’t want to…

I've been sourcing questions for you that absolutely no one has asked, but it seems that you've been asked every question that there is?! All that's left is 'Have you ever had crabs?' he he... Do you find it weird that some people are taking a great interest in you over your work?

I just had the one crab, Blueberry, the hermit crab. He died a couple years ago, though, and I haven't had crabs since. It is weird how interested people are in my personal life, but then, I've brought that on myself, and for the most part, people are respectful and nice, like friends or acquaintances, so it's not so bad. I'm more private these days. One thing that I think is really weird is how often reviews will review me as a person, rather than the book as a work, or even the 'me' as a 'character'. I take that as a sign the books are successful.

Just heard that they're planning to make a film of Burns' 'Black Hole'. Apparently Neil Gaiman is writing the screenplay. It's not a successful comic anymore until there's a motion picture in the works. Would you object to 'Clumsy' the film? If not, who would you have as the starring roles?

There was someone who wanted to do a 'Clumsy' film, and that fell through, and now I don't want any of my comics made into film, except maybe Bighead. So I guess my comics will never be successful? Shit. Okay, how about Joaqin Phoenix as me, and Julia Roberts as Theresa? Box-office gold.

I've just discovered that not only can you use the Internet for masturbation and buying stuff (to aid masturbation), you can also use it to contact artists and musicians that you admire and connect with them on a personal level. A far cry from the unopened mail, fan clubs and promo postcards of the eighties and nineties. What do you think your biggest gain from theInternet has been?

Being able to check sports scores. I don't have cable, and without the Internet, I'd have to wait until the next day's newspaper to see the scores. And even then, if it was a late game, the newspaper doesn't show the score, they just put 'late game' with an asterix. The Internet not only lets me see the scores as they change, but also player stats and team comparison reports.

Sticking with the net, some of my regular haunts are AckAckAck, Google Maps and Scar Stuff. Do you have any favourite websites that you visit too often?

The Holy Consumption

My friend Kirsteen made me a doll of the parasitic twin that was found inside his kid brother for my birthday. He was a mass of mangled flesh, hair and teeth. He looked to me like a badger, so earned the name 'Badger Boy'. What's the weirdest thing you have at home?

Someone made a weird doll of me once, so that's probably it. You can take its heart out. It's a little creepy. At night I get out of bed and throw it into the closet, and yell 'Shut up! Shut up! Just shut up!' and then sit there with the covers on, sobbing to myself.

I have your collection of publications packed together with 'Maus', 'Rehabilitating Mr Wiggles', 'I never liked you' and 'Amy & Jordan', right below my complete collection of 'Cerebus'. What books do you like to show off on your shelves?

I've got a Chris Ware/Dan Clowes shelf, and below that is Chester Brown/Julie Doucet/Adrian Tomine/Paul Hornschemeier/Anders Nilsen/Gary Panter/Ron Rege and some other stuff. I've also got three shelves of disorganized mini-comics.

For a few months now my favourite track of the moment has been Junip's 'Black Refuge’. What track are you currently 'wearing thin'?

Broken Social Scene's 'It's All Gonna Break', although it hasn't worn thin yet.

Speaking of ‘wearing thin’, my favourite pair of Pash flair jeans are on their last legs (pun intended). I refuse to lose hope in them though, until I’m arrested for indecent exposure. What’s your most cherished piece of clothing?

Right now it's this long sleeved brown collared shirt. It's real comfy.

All this monitor staring is blinding me. I think I'll be on my third raised glasses prescription in under a year and a half. I was thinking of what I would like to see as the last thing I had ever saw before I went blind. Any suggestions? What would yours be?

Probably the face of my child, and its mother.

We all know that Morrissey sang ‘We hate it when our friends are successful’. I actually despise it even when it’s someone I vaguely know. I wish the worst on them, from cancer to accidental death. My most recent ‘no reason for’ Arch Enemy is Oliver Jeffers. A damn nice bloke I used to work with in a bookshop. He has become a successful children’s author/illustrator, but yet I hate him for his success, and his rich parents... Do you have any similar ‘no reason for’ Arch enemies? If not, do you have any emotional frustrations that are mostly unwarranted or pointless?

Not right now, I don't think. All my archenemies are in that position for very good reasons.

I quit my job working for a large franchised music store. I am now three months unemployed and on a slippery slope into the big nothing. I read somewhere that you were in a similar situation. (Not the big nothing, the store... Ha ha. It's 'Cue & Ehh?' not 'Abuse & Spay'...he he). Are you still working or has the drawing finally paid off?

I still work a few days a week, so that I have health insurance. It's okay sometimes - I like working Tuesdays when the new CD/DVD releases go on sale - but other times it feels like such a huge waste of time, especially when you see some of the other people who are doing the same job, and you're wondering how they even got hired, yet you're on the same level as them...

I am currently working on a way to be happy and fruitful... Oh... and a music video where I blow my own head off at the beginning with a water pistol. What are you currently working on?

A book about my cat, a 300-page collection of autobiographical short stories, parodies of Transformers, Over The Top and Ultimate Fighting Championship, a cartoon pitch, and some anthology contributions. The usual stuff.

Weird and Freaky Question:

While stepping from the shower you feel a twinge from between your legs. First a tingle at the front, then quite considerable pain around your ass. Looking down you can see that everything is not right down there. Upon closer inspection you realise that you have accidentally used superglue to shampoo your crotch and you have now super glued your penis to your ass.

Further prodding with the aid of a mirror shows that the head of the little chappy has been perfectly super glued over the star of your ass and all the tugging in the world seems to be doing less than George Bush did with Katrina.

The question is this... What do you do next?

The Twist: All this examining has brought on the urge for a pee and a poo.

I get dressed, and go to the hospital. I can hold it in pretty good, so I'm not too worried about that part. Then I write a best-selling mini-comic about the experience, with a subplot of how I'm heartbroken about the girl I was dating at the time.

Falling Further:

Brown's Consumption
Silver Bullet's Badly Punctuated Interview
Brian Palmer (Bloody 'always gettin' in there first' Git) Interview
Samurai Comics Interview
So Hot Right Now Interview
Rise & Shine Interview


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